How to Leave Your Kids

That's right.  I'm outta here.  It's our 10th wedding anniversary and my husband and I have cleverly and expertly planned a trip to Italy to celebrate.  For a whole week.  And thanks to my lovely mother, we are going without the kids (thanks Mom!)

Of course I've found leaving my kids in someone else's care - even in the hands of the most capable - requires some planning and preparation.  This is for both my peace of mind as well as theirs.  Last year I had to make a trip back to the USA for 10 days (immigration issues) and left my husband at home to single-handedly manage my role as well as his employment obligations.  In other words, he got to experience single parenthood temporarily.  We both learned a few things from that experience: 1. mothers do a whole lot that, for the most part, goes unrecognized; 2. with a little thoughtful preparation things can go on smoothly without mom (for a limited time); 3. having a plan in place will ease the inevitable tensions that both the care-givers and the children will experience.

Here are a few things that worked really well and are in place for Grandma as we embark on our upcoming travels:

Freezer Meals.  It's just one less thing to have to hassle with in the evening when everybody is tired and the kids want some attention.  The hardest thing about freezer meals, reportedly, is deciding the night before which one to take out of the freezer to thaw for tomorrow night's supper. 

I always involve the children in deciding the meal options.  It's best to have meals on hand that the kids will enjoy and eat without fussing.  It's also a great way to ensure they will get some good nutrition.  For this next week, we prepared 9 entrees that Grandma will have the option of presenting.  (The remaining 2 will be enjoyed upon our return when I am too tired to cook!)

1. Spaghetti & Meatballs w/ vegetable
2. Chicken Enchiladas w/ fruit salad
3. Ham + Swiss Cheese Bake w/ salad
4. Pizza w/ carrot sticks and salad
5. Wholewheat Waffles w/ fruit and yogurt
6. Chicken Nuggets with oven-baked potatoes + vegetable
7. Meat Loaf, twice-baked potatoes and vegetable
8. Hot dogs, chips, carrot sticks and fruit
9. Cottage Pie w/ vegetable

All meals are labeled as to their contents and baking instructions:

Any aspect of the meal that is not frozen is set aside in a tote and grouped according to the meal.  For example, the spaghetti noodles and sauce are bundled together in a basket.  Canned/tinned fruits and veggies also go in the basket coordinating with their meal.  Fresh and frozen veggies and fruits are in their obvious locations (refrigerator, fruit basket, etc.).  Organizing the meals in this way helps Grandma know where ingredients are and makes the preparation time quicker and easier.  I keep a list of meals posted on the fridge so Grandma and kids can keep track of what they have on hand.

For more freezer-friendly recipes, click here.

Money.  We leave Grandma with cash for two purposes: Fun and Emergency.  We hope she doesn't have to use it for the latter.  "Fun" includes trips to the local Sweet Shop, Happy Meals at McDonalds, and whatever other entertainment they desire.  It's important for both Grandma and the kids that they all have a really fun time together.

Schedule.  Keeping up with a family's daily schedule can be an intimidating task for any mother.  For someone taking over her role for a week, it might seem impossible.  When I left my husband in charge last year he found it helpful to have a schedule in spreadsheet format to refer to throughout the day.  There is a lot to remember with everything from school drop-offs/pick-ups, after-school clubs, dance lessons, piano practice, etc.

It only takes a few minutes to type up a little schedule for each day highlighting main events and their coordinating times.

Instructions.  Someone who is not used to running your household on a daily basis will have many questions.  What trash bin gets put out on Tuesday morning?  What items need to be packed for school each day?  How do I operate the television/DVD player?  Who do I contact in case of an emergency?

Since Grandma does not live in our household, I spent some time observing my daily routine and jotted down notes about how to keep things running smoothly at home.  I typed things up and organized it by the following topics: Emergency, Contacts, Medical, School, Appliances, General Household Info.  I even wrote instructions about where to find further information. For example, where the instruction booklets for each of the appliances are located.

It's important to go through this information before you leave, too.  I had Grandma read through my info in case she had any questions and then I toured her through the house, showing her where things were located (first aid kits, electrical circuit box, etc.) It was helpful that she arrived a couple days before we were set to leave so she could see the daily activities in action - everything from piano practice to bedtime routines.

I even had her practice CPR on the children.  Just kidding.

Countdown.  For young children especially, it's hard to grasp the concept of time.  How long until Mommy & Daddy come home?  For most things, like upcoming birthday parties, we count "sleeps."  It is ___ sleeps until the birthday party.  For holidays and bigger events, like Christmas, we sometimes make paper chains and cut off a link each day until the special day arrives.  Last year when I traveled to America on my own for 10 days, I made treat countdowns for the kids (and my husband).  They liked it so well that we have done it again for this trip:

It is easy to make.  Simply lay out a stretch of plastic wrap, insert the treats at regular intervals, wrap, then tie between each treat with ribbon or yarn.  I added a loop of yarn at the top of each one and hung them on the fireplace mantle.  There is one treat for each day Mommy & Daddy are away.  When the treats are gone, Mom and Dad will be home.

Presents.  This last idea is totally optional.  (Okay, technically all of my ideas are optional).  But this one seems to work well in creating some renewed enthusiasm for the adventure of having parents and kids separated for a while.  Years ago when Grandma babysat for us, I wrapped some puzzles and hid them in a cupboard.  One night, about halfway through our trip, I called home to check on things and told the kids that because I'd had a good report from Grandma, I was going to tell them where to find a hidden treasure.  They were really excited.  Even better - they gained a new toy to play with, thus easing Grandma's burden of coming up with new activities.  This time, since our kids are older, we are leaving them with a gift on the day we leave - a new computer game - which they can earn time to play on by completing their chore charts.  Ideally this will give them something new and exciting to play with and encourage them to complete their tasks with enthusiasm!

Another idea I've used (to diffuse boredom over the summer holidays) is to create a "Boredom Box."  Basically, I find toys and activities they haven't played with for a long time (beads, puzzles, skipping rope, bubbles, play dough, activity books) and tuck them inside a large tote or box.  When the kids come to me and say they're bored I tell them to go find something from the box.  The rule is they're only allowed one thing at a time.  (Usually, they see all the many fun things they haven't played with for so long that they want them all at once).  The "Boredom Box" works on a library system, ie - you take one thing out and have to return it before you can have something new.  It's simple, but it works really well.  The key is to be sure and rotate things through the box so the activities are always something fresh and new for the kids to try.  Another variation of the Boredom Box is the "Rainy Day Box."  Same idea, just a different name. 

In conclusion, I've heard it said that "the best gift you can ever give your children is parents that love each other."  (I think my Mom said that, actually...)  And hopefully the kids will appreciate that their parents are headed off for a fun-filled week of adventure and romance in Italy - without them - because we love each other.  And even if they don't, we think they'll have way more fun at home with Grandma than they ever would being toted around through another foreign country with us.  (We know we'll have it easier without dragging them along!)  And hopefully all my planning will even help Grandma have a great week.